Last Post of the Month

Woah!! So fast 1 month pass le wor~times do fly right..hahaha..time to do some reflection..Oh ya..
Note to self : Never ever call anyone i care about "Baby" again..coz it'll never work out between us..
Anything else like baobei/aiai/darling/dear etcetc is still worth trying~Lols..

Realised that..i still can't build any kind of r/s based on a bunch of lies..no matter it's online or not..If anyone is sincere in making friends..honesty is the basic i needed from any of them..
One can be smart, being capable to deceive people of their real identity..but making 1 lie requires multiple lies to cover up for each other..please make sure it's flawless..coz i'm not dumb enough not to realise if a flaw exist
It's extremely cruel to play with people's sincerity..i can't accept it..get out of my life if u did..
The truth is..i'm not good at lying..since i dun have much practise on it..
coz whatever i don't like to be treated as..i'll try my best not to do the same to anyone else..

Sometimes..i surprises myself on how fast i can be determined to do quit on some stuff..woot~!
Just like how sometimes someone can bring sunshine to my life n yet thurderstorm the next day..
those decision that i made, to make sure it's the last time i cry over *someone*..i never did it again~

Note to self : I'm not gonna be the second "mlk", n i'm determined

Outing~

Hmm..haven really post much about the outting we had for the past week..lols..i did really had lottas fun^^
Those 2 pictures on top~ were the stuff we got for visiting the game fest!! Lols..went with beebee wlsp n law..
then meet up with dou/seck/chris n some familiar faces yet not so "close to" people~and some new faces..lols
Well..the 3 standee..the bowman was previously send to me from jing^^ the other 2 i got it myself..now still lacking a shadower to complete my set..i was so angry with my overflooding "yoku" standee which is now.. given to my younger brother..=P..
Anw..i went mad n bought 4 sets of AP reset=.= coz i was super attracted by that cheap $ 18 price._. 4x 18 = $72..roar..spent so much sia..die..i spend the $50 my mum gave me to buy clothes on that..F4F4*guilty*
Ok..go ATM press $$ time-.-
Oh ya..this is the first time i'm meeting wlsp da ge n beebee dar dar~
as expected..da ge was pretty tall..shuai shuai de..hahaha~but can hear his m'sian slang lar
beebee dar dar..chio chio one..just that she was upset that i'm taller than her..wahaha~ though small in size..her walking speed is kinda fast ._. N she's very easy to talk to lar..<--to me..hahaha

Today de Congee gathering..must wait for e photos from cream/beebee/ling dar dar~
Woah..ok lar..i feel a bit bad for leaving HSH n still going for their outing._.
Happy Birthday WlSP Da Ge^^ !!!
Haiyo..Take it as a chance to see all my good buddies..i miss them too~it's better to spend more time with them now..Before i get into uni n get busy..i wonder how much will i change..suddenly thought of slayer..
someone help me tell him to take good care of himself..n i'll miss him de..study well ar~JYJY
Anw..back to topic..it's my first time celebrating birthday at coffee shop too..lols..that place hor..like every block also have coffee shop one..so luan!! Hahaha..eyes become @.@ le
Sry Teng Aiai..coz i forgot to bring her *bag* which i promise to give her one..F4F4..next time i'll rmb de..
First time see thio aiai's bf..hmm..he look better than what i see in the picture wor~LOLS
Then so 恩爱 one..stick together everywhere..hahaha
Then Lao da..give me a feeling that he's the " REAL MAN"
Ohya..that cake was nice^^ thanks cream dar dar for taking the initiative to buy it..x3 it

敗犬女王

Woot~so long never watch taiwan drama le..suddenly found this popular series online..it's very very nice ar^^gonna chiong to finish it soon!!! it's a comedy romance story wor..
I find lar..the female lead char..look a bit like sammi cheng..very chio ar~

Well..i do find some of the things they mention inside super meaningful..
like they were explaining the biggest different in the purpose of lying between guys and girls is that...
guys lie to make themselves feel better
while girls lie to make other feel better
when a girl choose to lie..everything is unintentional.. it's just that they don't have the courage to hurt you..so they choose to hide the truth..it's because they don't wish to hurt the ones they love..

Anw..was speaking to dou a while ago..she said something that kinda shock me for once..maybe..ok..it did knock some sense into me..lols..well..not in a much positive way though..
She kinda ask me if i realised that i'm behaving like "mlk"..WOAH!! ( don't think much of u guys know who's she anyway) ._. i just didn't know i degraded myself to her stage of "pathetic-ness"..i remembered how much i used to scold n curse her for having no backbone etc etc previously..how much i hated that kind of soft hearted/dumb-ass woman..who set such a super duper bad example as a woman to everyone else..
I mean..i'm not saying dou is wrong..it's just that i didn't know i have been through so much so much..
so much so that..i've degraded myself to that sickening stage-.-i shouldn't be the one to look at myself right..coz obviously i'm blind..it takes a third person opinion to judge how i've change..seems like she's right afterall..
TIME TO PICK MYSELF UP~ I'M NEVER THAT WEAK!! I'M NEVER THAT STUPID!!
Heyz..dou..maybe..this is the " snapped" that i needed..lols..thank you^^what would i do w/o u..F4F4~

Zero

Oh..i just realise how powerful zero can be..

Let me put it simple~

0 x 0= 0

Hmm..Maybe not strong enough to convince people..but the truth is..

7 x 0 = 0

or even (7 x 5 + 6 ) x 0 = 0

Or even (8 + 5 - 2 x 3 /6 + 9 - 4/8) x 0 = 0

So if I relate zero to somebody.. it's the results i'm getting..

no matter how long the equation might be..as long as it's multiply by zero

i'm getting zero as an answer

Because 7 x 0 = 7 does not exist and yet 7 x 0 = 0 does..

Clear

After things clear up..when feelings are finally awaken or perish..i guess i'm able to handle it all..

I wonder~

It's long..dun bother to read it~i just need a place to complain~
I'm thinking lar..real hard..what i did..but i just get more and more confused..
seriously..i never thought i was a bad person..maybe, just maybe not as good as some people may want it to be..it shouldn't be that bad right?? but why do people keep choosing to leave me..am i really hard to communicate with? am i expected to perform up to everyone's expectation?<--which obviously..that i'm unable to do so..
Is it my problem..was i being too simple? till the point that it bores people out to hang out with me..or maybe i was too common..so ordinary that i can sink right into the background..going un-noticeable to people..
I'm just a girl with a simple life..wishing for a simple life..working for a simple life..too much to ask for? or was it because it's too simple for people who wanna lead a colourful, brilliantly lilted life?
I wonder..what's so wrong in giving all you got..what's so wrong in making sacrifices..
Then again..when i decides to give out so much, so much..but..in the end..it only leads to a path of no return..
i wonder..how long will i be able to hold on..i'm not trying to find a balancing point for how much effort i put in..it's just that when i dun see any progress being made in that relationship..or rather..remaining stagnant and not moving backwards is already a major problem..i get irritated..pissed..upset..frustrated..angry..
Irritated-->coz it's not getting anywhere..i dun even know where i'm getting to anyway._.
Pissed-->coz i can't stop it from moving in the opposite direction
upset-->coz it just cont moving backwards
frustrated--> coz whatever i'm trying..it's useless
angry--> with myself for being unable to do anything._.
I've tried..really..maybe not good enough..i'm not too good at it as well..but i'm putting in my best effort..
your words reminds me of this song that is sang by "信乐团" call "一了百了"
离开我你说是为了我好
可知道这句话伤人不少
就算忘不了没有大不了
反正一切都不再重要
我的心既然你全都不了
何必再继续让彼此困扰
斩断纠缠的爱
从今就一了百了
No matter how hard it get..i fought for it..i cried..i requested..i asked..i scream*into the blanket lar*..*cracking my brain thinking bout it*..haiyo..WTH..where's my self esteem n pride..I thought..it's worth it..coz once i can swallow it all..it'll lead to somewhere..but it didn't ba..i guess..lols..
Somehow..i dun wanna get attention just because i'm being a pathetic freak who can't let go..then cry hard for it when it does happens..i dun need attention because they pitied me..and i'm not sure which type of attention am i getting..which made everything worse..
suddenly feel like playing "xin tai ruan"..brain wash myself for it..repeat repeat! maybe it'll get me somewhere~
give me some courage/determination?
Just let me whine it all out..so i can let it all out..then i can hold longer for it =P
I mean everything is my one sided opinion..but it can get tiring..it's like sprinting for very long yet i can't reach the finish line..lols..i'm made of flesh n blood..i won't last forever..once i'm drained out..i'll stop..if i dun wanna stop..then i'll just snap somehow when i reach my limit ba..ROAR!! but i'm not even sure where's the ending point..what's indicating the ending point-.-
No lar..same praise.."Dun wanna be everything to you..but wanna be something to you"
But i'm not even sure if i even match up that something~sigh..shi bu shi hen ben?
That laughter is my best happiness..i like the presence of that person around me..
or is it i get the feeling that the harder it is..the more challenging it gets..the more i will wanna hold on..i'm not sure myself..this is the first time i fought so hard for anyone to stay with me..or just stay by me..clinging back after i got push away so many times..
Worth??Lols..i think so ba..if not i won't keep coming back again n again..
Afterall..there're times when i'm really happy..it's makes everything nice n warm..giving me energy to continue..*takes a big breathe* I'm ready for it~bring it on~!~!

SORRY DOU!!!

I mean..how heartless can i get._. i actually miss my best maple buddy wedding..it's not like it happens a lot..she was there for me when i did it..but i wasn't there for her when it's her turn=.=Twice somemore..the time with kiat<--my com crash._.Now with Quad..i forgot bout it..Haiz...i feel really bad dou~i'm really sorry bout it..n bout cursing that MW 20 of yours also~i guess i make a really bad friend right..-.-

I didn't mean to be such a heartless person..but what i did was totally bo xim at all-.-i'm sorry..i mean there's nothing much i can say now right..i'm just sincerely sry bout it..a

Chris also..haiz..when i thio hack..he was there to help me rebuild etc..now when he got it..i can't seems to do anything either._. i've receive kindness from people and taking it for granted..what's happening to me _l_

it's so not me at all..

Sian ar!! i should have paid more attention to my friends..argh!! i've screwed up my priorities in my life

Freakishly pissed with myself..*bangwall* wake up STUPID YIYI..open your eyes and look at reality!!

Friends comes n go..but family is someone that stays with u forever..now i starting to understand why..some people make certain decisions..yup..i'm placing more efforts n attention to my family now~even i might not seems like it..i love them a lot wor..

Note to self : Get your freaking priorities right..dun waste any more time on things that have no return..stop wasting time on people who can't appreciates you..then pay more attention to those who does..coz u deserve to be treated better than this =) love yourself more

I was wondering how much trust should one place on one another..
the degree to which one party trusts another is a measure of belief in the honesty, benevolence and competence of the other party<--adapted from wikipedia =P..o.O

Somehow the more u trust someone..the more hurtful it'll get when that trust is broken right..

So sometimes it's not that i dun trust someone..it's more of taking precautions to protect myself instead

Open my eyes big big..coz the world isn't perfect..it's filled with corrupted sicko ppl..i've learnt =)

Found this picture from my friend's profile..she did this for her partner..i just find it very very sweet^^