What can i say~

Does everyone have this..deep dark ugly nature that it's best to shun them away from the public?
Coz i'm practically having this..really really bad feeling coming up from inside me..due to something which seems perfectly healthy n natural to many..
Coz right now..i'm really really pissed at myself for having this feeling, which is morally wrong to begin with..
Coz i can't stop the feeling no matter what i told myself..or brain-wash myself
Coz the fact that i'm running away from it makes it worse..yet i can't stop myself from running away from it..
You know..the best way to run from a shadow..is to just simply turning of the lights..

I truely believe that i have a fully functional brain n just some emotional issues to deal with~
Worse come to worse..when i snap (not that i want to..but it did happened..twice in my life)..
somehow when it goes over my limits..when my fury/saddness reached it's peak..i'll became irrational..I have a tendency to throw every single related thing away..erm..literally threw everything..like down the rubbish chute..
or remove that particular part of brain n heart containing any substances of that particular person away..
It's not easy..but it can be done..of coz..it only occurs after i snapped..my brain gets all this adrenaline rush that malfunction it..kinda like i'm blinded from looking at the big picture..

Ok..the truth is..i did regret that i threw those stuff away though..but that doesn't mean i'll take them back in the end..Hello~I do have my pride n dignity to savage here..i have my own unique sets of characters..removing even the bad ugly side is like cutting out the frontal lobe of my brain..it's permanently there=.=
I can't change it..i can't stop it..n me writing here..
is like opening up my wound for ppl to see that big ugly flesh..n it doesn't matter anymore..coz i'm never that perfect to begin with..the sooner u see it through..the faster i can get over with flitering ppl around me..
I am a emo bitch at times..live with it..
Yet, i still believe that i deserve better~ Or Mb i should take a look of myself in the mirror first ba..

Oh..did i mention? i think teng aiai spreaded her fever virus to me..lols