My motto of the day

I read this somewhere that says : Never waste calories on yucky food!! lols..

That links to the point that i should never waste time on sucky friends

and then to this..never to waste any effort unless it's the love of my life~

My Life should be more practical..lols~

Song lyrics

I used to listen to some songs and found some really meaningful lyrics which kinda help me in moving on during my hard times..let me name some examples for ya..
oh Ya..my music is 75% chinese 15% english 10% weird language songs that i can't understand yet i still like it..
I only like soothing music..at times rock n roll..

One of my all time favourite song "手牵手"
不要再恐惧绝不要放弃这一切将会渡过
因为你和我才有明天的彩虹
那尘埃不会真的将你打败
你将会意外生命的光采
This one is from 蔡依林 de "我知道你很难过"
爱一个人需要缘份
感情的付出不是真心就会有结果
别问你的痛要怎么解脱
多情的人注定伤的比较久
This one is from 梁静茹 de "别再为他流泪"
就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈
This one is from 郭美美 de 放了爱
别人的幸福 何必要模仿
心不在何苦 留躯壳在身旁
放了爱 会明白
有种拥有 叫做放手
Of coz..this is just a simplified list..but these are really songs that motivated me..giving me the small push i needed to move on etc..it's good to listen to them when u needed time for yourself..they're not really my favourite song..it's just that the lyrics kinda knock some sense into me at times when require lar._.
It's might not have the same feeling for everyone ba..it might not be the best for anyone as well..

Lastly i have to say 没有天,那有地,没有地,那有家,没有家,那有你,没有你,那有我~XD
from 酒干倘卖无
I do believe that music can heal~Lols

Contacts

No idea why this few days feel like lying on my bed and rot there forever~
Just lie on my bed and sleep all the way^^<--useless self deteriorating my body job Anyway..i finally went to make my contacts today!! after procrastinating for so long~ Think my mum isn't too supportive bout it..cause of the price..it's $160 for 6 months..for the monthly disposable ones..But oh well..it's my choice..n she respected it..=)
I decided not to stay in hostel for my uni days..meaning i'll be spending 2 hours per day travelling to n fro..=.=
Home sweet home right..No regrets..Just make that decision and stick with it..lols..
So i decided to be a anti-social freak when i go there~no harm~I dun need a lot of friends..a bunch of good ones are good enough for me alr..and i do have a bunch of good ones going NTU with me^^ woots!!
ohya..hope i can more determine about my plans to be a vegetarian as much as possible..
trying to at least consume a meal or 2 everyday only on veggie
N i think i'm getting fatter this few days=.= been eating way too much le ..zzz..all fried n unhealthy food
Argh..i'm gonna die young~and i think i deserve it..bloody hell~
Recently..i really feel nonchalant bout stuff..like everything doesn't matters..
seriously..i think i'll only grow when i experience pain..lols..not that i wanna feel those..
it's just facts that i've learn to accept..then accept the fact that i can't change them..then change my view towards that fact..so in the end..i can only give up/withdraw away/can't be bothered from that fact anymore..because it's too painful/too tiring/not worth it to hold on to..
i'm happier this way..i think..
because i won't allow the facts to approach me in order to do any more damage anymore~
I've been failed so many times..lols..i'm kinda afraid that the kind of disappointment i'm experiencing will turn into hatred towards that person who've failed me again n again ._. so it's best to just be nonchalant bout it now..coz 哪里有失落,哪里就有爱 mah..so if i dun care bout it..there won't be disappointment in the first place..
Sometimes i really think that one will feel suffocating, only because they brought it upon themselves..
It's all about the mentality u have towards that issue..once you've cross over that barrier you have built yourself..tada~!~! You will be able to breathe like you used to =)
Btw..i'm quitting audi le ba..lag dao like shit~especially when playing club.. play = more n more pek chek..lols.. Sometimes it's good to be free from responsibility..ye mei you ser mo hao liu lian de lar..quit jiu quit lor~
Somehow i feel that it's way easiler to make online friends in maple better than audi._. for me lar..lols..

Going out spending $$

Been going out for 3 consecutive nights..woah..think i spend bout $100+ le ba-.-
Ouch!! heart pain sia..lols..the problem is i wasn't allowed to ton outside..so my priority upon going out is to "catch the last train"~ Because i hate to spend my $$ on Cab._. with midnight charges..Lols..this is one point where i'm still a 19 years old..under a age limit constraint with strict parents and no car!!!
SO..to catch a movie at night with friends :
No.1 : check the last train timing before checking the movie timing~
No.2 : check the nearest location of the MRT to the cinema and check the last train timing for that place again~
No.3 : check the length of the movie so that it doesn't exceed the last train timing~
No.4 : if the above doesn't match..we'll keep looking for one that match..or..we dun go in e end
Lols..it got my friend so pissed that he say we should not watch a movie..
instead..we should just seat at the station and watch for the "last train"..

Ohya..nice knowing a new guy name "joseph"..J again._.(i think im super fated with people naming after "J")
Btw..that $16 50cl of alcohol really sucks=.= Note to self: never to touch that particular alcohol again
Lols..happy departure ar dou~i did enjoy myself at your farewell party..f3
It's been days and why hasn't the outing pictures been send to me ?? Roar~
i'll post again when it has :)

White Peacock

I got this email from my friend which says that if you see a White Peacock it will bring you good luck. So I am sending the good luck to you – my friends, wishing you good luck and prosperity every year!

Transformer 2

Oooo...it's out alr~Transformer 2 : Revenge of the fallen
it's quite a nice show ar =)..very funny n cool~lols
Quite worth my $8..though i bought 7 ticket and only 6 turn up=.=
Sian~ wasted $8 as well..lols..the movie theatre was fully filled wor~
I enjoyed myself ar :)

Cold

Don't be cold towards me~i'm scare of cold, more than darkness..

Scare of losing something that i care about..rather than not knowing of their existence

When someone bring more sorrow than happiness..

it indicates a time to leave..

I would really like to keep myself warm with the help of "being loved"

and i really appreciates the kindness that people are giving~

Eat!!!

Someone told me..no matter how pissed i am..也不要跟自己的肚子过不去..
must eat eat also~Lols~It's so true~So i decided not to torture my tummy even when i'm mad~

Oh~

哪里有失落,哪里就有爱

Friday's pasta outing>.<

Woot!! Finally able to embed the video ._. after hours of brain cracking moments!!
Anw..pasta outing from 18 chef is changed to pizza hut ..due to the over popularity of that shop D: ..Lols
Sore Throat + kns de nose = pissed off yiyi
Why dun wan recover one!!!

Lols..i'm feel super super 幸福

THIS IS WHY I JUST SIMPLY LOVE MY MUM!!!

She sms-es me this afternoon (which is rare in the first place..coz she seldom sms me de)

"Hi girl..my friend give me a big red packet of ~yanyan le.....but ony vanilla. so u don't buy any more haa!!!"

" eat until u can see e teeth can't see e eye......ha..ha....." <--i dun understand also..=X
Lols..pardon her poor English..not that mine is anywhere better..But it made my day^^

I'm super happy!!!

Thank You List (part 1)

This list is not very comprehensive..these are just thoughts and words that i wanna say to those i cared about.. excluding my family of coz..x3 them lots..
anw..the listing of the names are at random..the length of it is random as well..haha~

Hong Dou-->haiyo..what would i do w/o u..lols..i think i've said it a lot of times to ya le..
Thanks for always being there n stood by me whenever i have problems!! which happens so often i think u're gonna puke blood listening to me complain complain..then knock some sense into my brain b4 i sink further into trouble._. Aiyo..i know u dun like ppl emo to u de lar..but i still emo to u..u still take it right =P
XiaoLuo-->though we haven really been contacting much lately~but still..i remembered the good old times we used to enjoy tgt~got bibi liao can throw away your friends le hor!! LOLS..jkjk lar..u better treat me better when u read this..xD..blekx..heyz..best wishes for u n her wor~u got your "Brothers"..need Sistas can come find me ar~xD
JiYun-->lols..dun mind me using this name right? dun think a lot of ppl know it ba..anw..i did felt quite bad/guilty for treating u that way "that day"..n the e-mail thing=.= u aren't that bad..or even close to bad in the first place..i was just blinded by anger..n i made no effort to apologise even if i felt that way..sry bout that..it's just that i can't swallow my pride._. coz i look super dumb + no face to apologise after being so harsh=.= it's sounds stupid..but heyz..i'm so glad i didn't lose you as a friend after all those crap i've given you..thanks for being so understanding=)n thanks for looking out for me even after that..i know..*wink*
Da Jie-->this is weird..ok..i think we've drifted apart..but oh well..u're good at keeping things from me..i'll never know unless you tell me..which is unlikely..coz u're pretty determined to carry out the stuff u decided on..(that includes not telling me certain stuff..)which is very impressive to me at times..lols..that kind of determination and perseverance no matter how much pain it might inflict..but nevertheless..as you've always said "let past be past"..i'm still wanna let u know that u used to be that air for me to keep breathing when i was suffocating..yeah..u are that impt at that point in my life..heyz..hope that things will work out ar :)
Kitty-->he doesn't read my blog=.= but still._. I feel that everytime we go out tgt..you'll paying for quite an amount of our stuff..and i swipe your card like mad when we go arcade =x..i feel bad..but thanks ar!! :) Lols..mb it's because your male ego doesn't let you feel that gals should pay? o.O who knows..
Hara-->Wah..i always feel that u're very secretive..it took me so long to know you..to know bout your personal life etcetc..lols..>2 years le..happy exchanging books/comics with me ar :D

EH..very late le wor..i continue tmr xD..going 4 am liao
P/S: I'm not a religious person..but i'm praying to god!! For someone to Get well soon!!

Friend4ever!!!

It's easy to see who actually cares~

Those who accepts you no matter how horrendous/weird/weak you've become..

Those who still stand by you and care for you even when you throw them a hell lottas

rubbish/temper/vulgarities<--unlikely but yeah..i do

I'm not saying i got a lot of friends or that i'm very sociable~

But i think i'm very lucky to have so many people who actually cared for me

and i'm super grateful for that!!

x3 all my buddies~ i might not say it out loud..but u guys really mean a lot to me..

I like it when people drop me random messages once in a blue moon to check out how my life is..haha~

gets me super touched (>.<)

I'm gonna make myself HAPPY

No more sad sad song playing over n over again

No more sad sad storybook trying to occupy my mind

No more sad sad drama series repeating n repeating

I'm easily swayed, emotionally..

So i'm Determined to carry out the plan to make/keep myself happy..Lols

Milk Freak

Oh ya..have i mention that i'm pretty much a milk freak?

I'm consuming milk like some milk addict who can't live without them..

i love Meiji milk exceptionally..simply delicious guys!! Must Try!!

& i used to drink 2 serving(2 small bottles) daily while i'm still schooling..

But, i have to cut down the intake because it's too fattening for my body D:

That's Why Low Fat Milk RULES!!

Lols..

Random conversations

I came back from work 1 day..and got this weird urge to get a pet..
Anw..the conversation was made it mandarin..let me translate it for ya..

YiYi : Ma~can i have a dog? (smiles)
Mum : Are you trying to scare of all the maid? (Zzz..)
YiYi : (o.O) Then we can get a Filipino maid instead :D
Mum : Their pay is $330 per month..$100 more than Indonesian Maid..I'm not gonna pay $100 more for a dog!!
YiYi : Orh~(turns and walk away)

Well..i think my mum is cute..Lols..I was weighing the need for a dog or a maid..i think i'll choose a maid instead..roar!! ( i know i'm lazy..but no one in the family seems to have any time for housework anw)
Seriously, i dun get anywhere close with my maid..we hardly speak a sentense to each other everyday..
No hard feelings..but as long as they dun mess with my life n dun touch my stuff..i dun really care who it is..
I know i sound harsh and i sound cold blooded..but that's just me..i handle my own stuff..and i dun find any need for any conversation with them..am i "weird"??

Btw..My friend(s) drop me some messages a few days ago..(extracted parts from the full message)

Friend A : (blah blah..)Friend B ask if u got any off next wk? Cause she's not working on Tue~Thurs and she miss u !
YiYi : Liars! u all won't miss me de lar.. (blah blah..)
Friend A : Roars ! We really miss u ! Dun make us sounds so bad.. (blah blah..)
Later on Friend B smses me..
Friend B : (blah blah..)Lol. WY we miss u! (:
YiYi : A bunch of big fat liars..don't try to make me happy.. (blah blah..)
Friend B : (blah blah..)Really got miss u lar. (:

Lols..u know how fragile friendship can be right..people comes and go in your life..
I'm kinda glad that they still care about me..(*kinda touched*)
This is what i call "real Kaki" ..it's been months since i last saw them..okok..i shall take initiative this time to make a impossible gathering possible..zz..been trying to make it possible for months as well..everyone is busy i guess..Lols

Pain

You can only fight your way through pain..because you can't outrun it

And life makes it such that it keeps coming..

It's true that time heals all wounds for all humans..even if it seem impossible or beyond repair..

Even if every seconds leaves behind such unbearable pain that flow through your body..

Times still passes..and hopefully..

get better as memories fades away~

or when one gets immune to the pain it no longer matters anymore..

I Love My Mum <3

There's nothing in this world that's worth more than my Mum~^^

She's the one that's makes my Tummy Happy Happy everyday

Hahaha..Love X3

I feel that there's so little i'm able to do for my parents..

Just taking care of myself..(inclusive of not abusing my body..no smoking..no drugs..no self cutting..no self starvation..LOLs..have self discipline..n do well in your studies), So they dun have to worry for me

Well..even if i dun have to be responsible for myself..i have to be responsible of my body to my parents, right?

Maybe just small little thoughts of buying dessert back for them to enjoy every night..=P

it's makes them happy..and it makes me happy to see them happy..hahaha~

This is a picture taken from my seat..it's the Entrance of my workplace..it's Lvl 3 of e Forum Shopping center
so sad hor..everyday seat outside ToysRus n stone._. Oh..it's a really big store..but i didn't manage to take a look inside at all..lols
Btw..I'm Super pissed with the NTU admission..si bei ma fan..must dunno make xxx trips there to do medical checkup..english proficiency test..hand in tuition grand form/giro form..etcetc..all on diffenent days=.=..they think i so free sia..make so many trip down..zzz... !*^&%!@ It's not like i live very near to the campus-.-

Lines..

It's all about lines..

The finish line when i graduates..waiting in line for graduation to come..

Then there comes the most important line..the line that separates me, from the people i work with~

It doesn't help to get more familiar..to make friends..

I need boundaries..between me..and the rest of the world..

Because other people are far too messy..for me..

Drawing lines in the sand..and praying like hell that

No one crosses them..=X

Grey's Anatomy

This is my favourite drama series i've ever watched in my whole 19 years of life..Lols..really!! Besides Charmed i suppose =P..
Been catching the first few seasons on Tv years ago..
And i've look all over the net..digging for it to re-watch it again n again..Woot..sososososo *happy*(<--jumping and cheering around in joy) i manage to find it again recently!!! and i just finished off season 5 with "my panda eyes" But..it's totally worth it..wahaha..
Now i'm just awaiting season 6 to start screening D:
ARGH!! It's very inspirational show for me i suppose..can make me brust out laughing like mad one moment and sobs like a baby the next one..then my parents will think i'm going mad in my room..requesting me to behave "lady-like"..and say my laughter is scary=.=..!#!%$^..
andand it has superb storyline..excellent (special and unique)characters..Catchy praises..Handsome n pretty actors xD..etcetc..that's makes it the bestest drama ever!!<--for me lar..but whatever~

Abusing "sorry"

Well..i mean..everyone knows the meaning of the word "sorry" right..it's a feeling of regret..sympathy..
Even a three years old is capable of saying those words..but it only matters when you mean it or not..
Because the praise "I'm sorry" is being used as a weapon, an excuse all the time..
I'm not trying to say it's equally easy or has equal significance level in everyone's mindset..
it's never easy for some people to admit to their mistakes and express their remorse for it all the time..
worst case senario..they dun even know what they did wrong..lols..oh well..that's another thing ba..
But if you get the meaning of "sorry" right..it will leads to redemption
( meaning..deliverance from sin and atonement for guilt)
I guess it does all comes down to the sincerity afterall..like how much you wants to be forgiven and how much you realise that you've been wrong..
P/S: i'll never make things hard for those people who have difficulties in saying "sorry"..as long as i can feel the "remorseful" feeling that they are giving out..apology would be accepted..=) sorry is just a 2 syllabus word anw..

It's comforting

I just thought it would be nice for someone

to give you a pad on your back

to give you a nice comforting teddy-bear-like hug

to reassure you that everything " is okay.."

when you feel emotionally unstable

I will cry, if you die..choychoychoy~

I've been frequently asked by people that.." If i die, will you cry for me?" Usually my reply would be.." why so random one.." then reassure them that nothing will go wrong..they'll be safe etc etc

Well..i have to say..i haven been through much 生离死别 in my life..all my loved ones are living happily somewhere in this world..=) the only one in my whole 19 years of life that i've experienced is my grandfather's death several years ago..he died of cancer anw..it's a long term treatment..so everyone was mentally prepared for it..

To me..i haven't really give it much thoughts and considerations if someone were to pass on and leave me eternally..that's because i'm being pampered in my own world where everything is simple and peaceful..where i don't experienced much of these kind of 生离死别de pain..

I do hear from my friend's friend that is dying from leukemia..i do hear from my friend's friend who died just by falling down the stairs..

But none of these has happened to those that are directly related to me..yes~..i'll feel upset for them when they talk about it..but somehow i'm pretty lost for words facing this kind of situation..to me..those are the scenarios that i would see in drama/newspaper instead of happening on me..=.=..i know i sound stupid/naive or unrealistic..but this is really what i felt like..

I mean..life's so fragile..so unpredictable..like there might some deadly brain tumour growing in someone's head right now..or maybe..someone will die tmr due to drink driving etcetc..i'm just starting to wonder how will i react if it did happen actually..what if someone i care about were to leave suddenly..i know i'll cry..but crying is the least helpful option i can choose to do..the last thing i want is for others to get even more bothered/upset by my annoying crying..Maybe i'll feel remorseful for what i should have done for him / her while i have the chances...to tell him/her how much i need them..to let them know how much i love them etcetc

The tears can be flowing deep inside..crying is not the only way to show that you care..

There's always people saying "Live life like there's no tmr"..but..isn't that too tiring?

It's pretty unpractical..because when u wake up the next day..there's still a "tmr" awaiting~

SO..If i ever leave..don't cry for me..=)

New phone soon~

when there's light, there's darkness
when there's right, there's wrong

when i'm tired, i rest

when i'm sad, i cry

when i'm in love, i feel bliss

Simple life is all that i need!!

HTC touch diamond 2<--korean brand touchscreen phone..o.o..It's something that i fell in love at first sight._.design damn chio..price also damn chio..zzz..$600 with 2 years contract plan le._. it's soso over-shooting my budget..sad si wo le..first time i wanted a phone so badly..then so ex.. !$@^!@.. okok..i'm trying to settle down for the samsung omnia 8bg as a alternative..price also damn chio..but it's something i'm more willing to afford ba..$400..hopefully ba..fighting to get it~

Work Work

Started working today le..after slacking for 2 months._.i'm back to earn more $$
Now working as the world's slackiest job ever!! OMG!! i'm just getting paid for seating there=.=
I feel that my talent is so super duper wasted..lalala~Lols..anw..i'm working for a credit card company
call "RBS"-->Royal Bank of Scotland..AND AND..i'm just suppose to carry a table n chair to seat outside "toysRus" then wait for it's member to come and redeem their "toysRus" voucher..
Apparently..if u are lucky..u can get like 1 redemption per day..LOLS!!
So practically you just seat there 10 hours..11am-9pm..stoning._.then received $65 DIAO!!
Ok..i learnt my lesson..10 hours is way too boring liao..i'm so in need to bring some entertainment for myself~
Roar!! But but..there's this really cute job..there's this one guy standing next to my counter..just to open the mini door for the visitors and get paid $5 per hours!! LOLS~everyone working in the "ToysRus" were super envied bout my job..well paid n slacking._.
Whatever~

Promises

A promise is made when you tell someone that you will certainly do something for him/her..
It's a declaration that something will or will not be done..
Am i just too stupid and naive to believe that everyone will keep their promises?
Ans to it : 是我把现实看得渺小..
It's just that when people fails to meet my expectations..i get seriously upset..
I've never forced anyone to make any promises with me..even if i did..i'll make sure i did pre-warn you to keep it..if not, don't ever make any of it with me..i trusted you to keep any promise that is made with me..and i believe that trust is a pillar to any successful type of relationship..that's why i allowed you to make any promises with me..you made that commitment..u made that promise..and yet..every single one that is made just crumble down when things goes wrong..to ash..to powder..to dust..to air..i dunno..LOL!!
No longer knew what to say anymore..I'm just utterly speechless..
I'm not disappointed in that person who broke it..i'm just disappointed in myself for believing/trusting that people will actually stick with their words no matter what happens..
Because reality actually sucks more than it seems..
Because human are actually born to protect themselves..it's a natural instinct that they place their own priorities way way more than such a lame thing call "promise"..
Because the "promise" will be the last thing on their mind whenever anyone makes any decision..
Because i'm DUMB enough to believe in "keeping promises"..
From today onwards..NO MORE PROMISES..it's just all words without meaning..
i don't give a damn anymore..i reap what i sow..somehow i needa learn how to protect myself..
Rules are meant to be broken..so is promises..

P/S: I'm writing this to the person whom i'm mentioning about above..your probably know who you are if you ever cared enough to read my blog anymore anyway..
Though i know i should not take whatever you said tonight to heart..but what u mentioned did upset me a lot..every sentense u said is like a fresh wound on me..coz your existence was never an illusion to me to begin with..the way you show how nonchalant u can be..like i no longer matters to you anymore..i just didn't realise my persistent in maintaining our friendship is becoming a nuisance in your life..because i was unable to" Fuck off from your life..you will"..and the way u broke every single promises you made just by doing that..
Nevertheless..whatever that happened in the past will be remembered..I'll reflect and i'll change..
27/3/2009-->1/6/2009..Thanks for being part of my life once..
But I did broke my personal promise not to cry for you anymore..i kinda just burst into tears and crash when i saw the "pink" words change to "Blue"..and when i saw that "yes" to my question..
I'm not gonna tell you that i'm feeling ok..because that's really not the truth..and u should know that..
I might be young to you..i might not understand a lot of things u do..we might have a lot of differences..
but it doesn't matters to me..please do not doubt my sincerity for you..
I just want us to remain in contact! And be friends! It's really really not that hard at all..
Any obstacles can be cross..if you can't do it..then let me do it..if you are that tired..then i'll carry you..
If you only let me have that chance and opportunity to do it..but it's all too late now?
Right Now..i only hope that the yes you have given me was seriously your answer from deep within your heart.. don't say that because of me..because this is not what i wanted..and u knew it very clearly..
But if it's really what u mean and what u wanted all along..i can be strong for you..i can be determined to really "fuck off" from your life..if that will actually make you truly happier
Drop me a message if you ever changed your mind..i'll always always be here for you..