I dunno where to let it out to

K ba..last message..u always ask 你到底想什麽样? But sometimes I dun need any conclusion..I just sorta need this type of things to stop..idk..like I always said..stop, change, n move on..But I dun think I have e rights to tell u that after all these..i dun leave or quit because things are hard..I leave becoz it's no longer worth it..I hope u can become worthy someday..but I feel like u ain't holding on to me..I think e line is unclear becoz I still care..it's nv about letting u go to me..it's always about u not meeting what I want..so it's suffocating to both of us..deep down inside I've always hope things will be better between us..but when it dun..I crack again..it's never as easy as I said bout giving u up..n the part that u dun treasure what we have really pushes me to my limit..it's true..I grab hold to happy moments..n all u an grab hold is grudges u have against me..somehow that kinda influence me to do likewise..so I kinda change lately to the girl who can't stop talking bout e past..even when I try to remind myself of those precious moments..u can't rmb any of them..which just makes everything illusional to me..it feel surreal when I'm e only who remembering details in between us n u dun..mb I'm really delusional to believe u can change..change u? Lols..I'm just rambling..really..I tend of forget e worse parts of my life n selectively choose to rmb e good one..that's how I live by everyday..